Y 11.17.2005
Stop!
I can't take it anymore. Yesterday, everything was great. It was almost nirvana when I was watching Harry Potter. But, this morning, I read something. I can't tell you what I read because I just can't. My blood boiled and my mood suddenly changed. All of a sudden I became depressed. I felt like crying but I didn't. Then, I realized something. He was having fun last summer when I was gone. Having fun with that silly, little girl. I hate her. I hate him. I really need that shirt now, Nikko. I was so shocked with what I read but then I kept it to myself until the first period. I told Rachelle. She just nodded and was sympathetic. I still felt like crying. After that it was our T.L.E. time. This is the best period to chat because we're just doing our embroider work. Marijyke was full of stories. Some stories I don't even want to hear but I had to. So it's my fault. I'm the reason. I'm the villain in this drama story and she's the leading lady. Yuck! As If!!! I was taking it lightly until lunch time when I really had to tell something to my friends but then I can't because I sacrificed my lunch to study in Social Studies. (So glad it paid off because I got a perfect score for the 2nd time. I hope I'll get a perfect score tomorrow.) Anyway, I texted Abychu to come to our room since I can't leave the place. She was able to read the message 3 hours after I sent it so I was a bit downhearted when they did not come. Everything was fine for the rest of the day. It was all out of my head. Suddenly, it was dismissal time. I told her what I had to tell her and I discovered things that I need to know. Suddenly, Nikko enters. He brought the bomb. I screamed a few times, jumped and cried. I went hysterical. I couldn't take it anymore. She's ruining my life! I was suppose to enjoy that trip because I would be away from them, from her in particular. I will only be with my friends. I cried. I'm not a crybaby. I only resort to that when I can't take it anymore. I hate her! She's doing things that makes my old self want to come out. Correction, our old selves to come out. Maybe people do not know but we were saddists when we were in 1st year. We were the most arrogant, war freak people you would ever meet. All that changed last year but everything's coming back now. I wanted Marj to be on my side. I'm quite sure that if she was here she would've already gave that girl a piece of her mind. I can't believe she expects me to staw away just because she thinks I'm stealing her boyfriend. Talk about paranoid. Duh! As If! Is it my fault that my best friends are there? They're the ones I want to talk to. Duh! I'm starting to say Duh! again. It was my trademark two years ago. Ask any Badillonian, they would know. They're the only people who knows the real me. They're the only people who knows how harsh I can get. Everything's coming back. I've already made a decision. I'm going to stop! I give up but if it's war she's bringing then I won't back down. She doesn't know who she's dealing with. It's the first time that I became truly mad since 1st year. Yeah! It's true. I was living a sedentary life last year but that's over now. I'm back! And nobody can stop me.
you know you love me
xoxo
7:09:00 PM
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