Y 10.03.2005
Drama, Deception and a Day full of Emotions...
Drama. When I hear this word the first thing that comes to my mind is crying. Why crying? I myself have no idea. It's just natural for a person to think of tears and sad things if the word drama is mentioned, right? This day, October 3, 2005 was a day full of drama, deception and emotions. The day did not start good. I was slumped in a bad mood. I just didn't know why. Anyway, when I reached school I was all smiles. I was oh so ready to tell my stories to Rachelle. She was excited, waiting for me. We were asked to go to our home room for Physics time because some freshies will be using our room for their demonstration. We went 1 storey down, crossed the bridge and entered our room. We were excited to perform our experiment. It has something to do with placing eggs inside a box and making sure that when the box is dropped from the 3rd floor, none of the eggs will brake. We used all means to secure the egss. They even called the straws that we wrapped around as shock absorbers. I was happily participating in the preparation of our box when suddenly Rachelle said something that hit me like an atomic bomb. Oh well, there goes my happy day. I got excited again when the boxes were about to be dropped. After that we checked if the eggs were still intact and luckily none of our eggs was broken. After that I was holding the box, hugging it for dear life, staring into the vast nothingness I see around me although a multitude of people were there. I just can't seem to be cheerfull anymore because of that "bomb." T.L.E. brought in a new teacher whom I can't say I like but I can't say I hate. I kind of dislike her at the moment but who knows? Trigonometry brought surprises. Suddenly, our teacher said that we were going to report. I totally forgot about it and Aia and I panicked. We were not prepared, we both forgot that we were supposed to report for 3 stamps. Luckily, the great GaliLEOdegario was our classmate. He helped us and we got the 3 stamps. I was all frown during Filipino time. I just can't seem to get that thing away from my precious thoughts. Chem time was same as usual even if the room's deco is alien to our eyes. We were the only group who was not able to perform the exp. because we didn't have skim milk. Next was the sleeping session. My classmates said that it was so obvious that I was already falling asleep. I do admit that I'm in the brink of slumber during Advanced Biology but at least I understand the lesson even if I am already an inch away from diving into the world of dreams. Lunch time was not that eventful. Mam Calamiong was not around so we did not have Mathematics. The time was spent signing fans. Yep. It has become a trend again. I bought a new fan, pink again. This time not much people placed silly messages. Almost all of their messages was from their hearts. Computer Science Time was the most eventful of all. I got mad, sad, depressed, every dramatic feeling you could think of. My tears were starting to well up. It started out fine until our dear teacher started to feel she was the star of a soap opera where her students rebelled against her and didn't attend her class. It was fine because we didn't feel guilty because all of her silver words were true. At least she was speaking generally, she wasn't pinpointing anyone. Rach brought up the 'bomb' again. Aarggh... I didn't know the reason but there was this flame inside me that turned into a great big bonfire. Then our beloved teacher said "Pano naman kasi, yung president ng klase, mas gusto pang magpractice kaysa tawagin ung mga kaklase para umatend ng klase." Me, me, me. It was all my fault again. The bonfire became a raging fire which burned, seeping through my veins. I got a paper and wrote scribbles and doodles to release my anger. It kind of worked for awhile but the flame wasn't getting any smaller. I let out a sigh of relief when CS ended. Entreud MAPEH time. We just made stuff for our head dress. The topic was brought up again. These three people were asked a question. Their answers mad that fire grow even bigger. I was already throwing things. Only Rachelle seem to get what really ticks me off. Until I started opening up. I told them why. We exchanged stories but the story teller was mostly me. Time flies so fast. It was already english time. They asked me to tell them what I know about their Ma and Pa. After that I don't know. Kim just caught my guard off. I spilled the beans. I wasn't able to control myself. Without knowing it, tears were trickling down my face. English time was spent talking. She was giving me advice and so on and so forth. It just feels good to be able to remove that heavy burden. Am I really taking the steps? Or I'm pretending to but the truth is I'm still standing where I was a few months ago? I don't know. I can't seem to figure out anything. My mind is only a tick tock away from exploding and so is my heart. I have this fear. I think I already mentioned it here but this fear is what keeps me sane I guess. It's the fear that makes me strong. We're such good actors. Though sometimes other observant people like Maritoni and Vanir and even Mike can see right through us. The eye is the window of our soul. I don't know how people read what I feel through my eyes. I just hope and pray that things will get better. I just hope and pray that other people will understand. I just hope and pray that this will be the last time I shed tears. I just hope and pray, it doesn't mean it is going to happen. Au revoir! P.S. You can never tell if what other people say is true because they might just be hiding behind masks, you'll never know. For the first time, Harry Potter can't seem to pick out the thorns that are plunged into my heart.
you know you love me
xoxo
7:12:00 PM
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