Y 10.29.2005
One More Try
ONE MORE TRY Kyla
Sometime ago I told you goodbye I don't know why
This crazy feeling is driven me mad I made you cry
I was such a fool to see you go
I know our love is kinda true
Baby I can't trust this feeling in me now
Sometime ago the love we've shared seemed everlasting
I never had the chance to think this paradise would end
I was such a fool to see you go
I know our love is oh so true
Now I think this feeling's back in me now
Chorus:
If ever I say I love you baby
Will you ever understand me?
I figured out and weighed this feeling
For quite a while it's you I'm dreaming
Whenever I think of you there's one thing I wish
You're thinking of me too I guess
I hope you'll understand why
But I'm gonna give it one more try
Sometime ago the love we've shared seemed everlasting
I never had the chance to think this paradise would end
I was such a fool to see you go
I know our love is oh so true
Now I think this feeling's back in me now
Repeat chorus 2x
One more try.......hmmmmmmmmm
you know you love me
xoxo
4:49:00 PM
Y 10.25.2005
Too True
Your a Verbal Linguistic. Your probably pretty good
at expressing yourself. You love to read and
write and sometimes wish you could become one
with your books or peices of writing. Your
strong point in school is probably english. You
should become a Writer of somekind maybe a
novelist or a news paper writer.
What Type of Intelligence do you have? 8 different results. -*-*-cool anime pictures-*-*-
brought to you by Quizilla
you know you love me
xoxo
10:52:00 AM
Y
A Week Long Sleep
I won't be sleeping for one whole week like the title suggests. I will just be away for a week. Pampanga, here I come! Anyway I recently found out that a friend of mine has substance. It's just so enjoyable reading his blog. His welcome message is also something. Here it is: Who am I? I am just an ordinary person in search for his personal legend, a miner looking for his gold, a spelunker traveling this cave of wonders where one may find treasures unknown. This is my lair, and I humbly welcome you to join in my odyssey of sorts as the spelunker who manages to struggle inside his humble abode...See? Anyway, I hate him at the moment because he caught a picture of me while I was asleep. Another member of the BDT, pH, gave me a song that suits the picture, Tulog Na by SugarFree.
Tulog Na
by Sugarfree
album: Dramachine (2004)
tulog na mahal ko
hayaan na muna natin ang mundong ito
lika na, tulog na tayo.
tulog na mahal ko
wag kang lumuha, malambot ang iyong kama
saka na mamroblema
tulog na hayaan na muna natin sila
mamaya, hindi ka na nila kaya pang saktan
kung matulog, matulog ka na...
tulog na mahal ko
nandito lang akong bahala sa iyo
sige na, tulog na muna
tulog na mahal ko
at baka bukas ngingiti ka sa wakas
at sabay natin haharapin ang mundo
tulog na hayaan na muna natin sila
mamaya, hindi ka na nila kaya pang saktan
kung matulog, matulog ka na...
hanggang makatulog ka
I will be posting the picture and this will be my last post for October. November will bring exciting events like the premiere of HP gOf and of course, my birthday. TTFN, tata for now. -=+outie+=-.
you know you love me
xoxo
10:07:00 AM
Y 10.23.2005
Not Worth The Wait...
Heya...It's been quite some time since I last posted here. My long absence is due to our Mid Year Examinations, Field Trip, and to my sister, who used up all the internet cards so I wasn't able to go online. It has been 5 days since my last post. So many things have happened. So many changes have occurred. Last Friday was another day for the BDT. I saw a shirt at Am Bou which I really really liked and so I asked Nikko to give me that shirt as a gift for my upcoming birthday. We helped Daine buy a shirt for the field trip. I was so excited last Friday because the following day will be our Educational trip. I asked my aunt to buy so many food. I prepared my outfit beforehand. I was so excited because we did not have a field trip last year. I woke up at four, took a bath and got dressed. I had a few outfit changes because the outfit just didn't work. When I finally came up with the perfect outfit my sister ( who owns the rubber shoes I was going to wear ) told me that she didn't have any shoes so she's going to wear the shoes that I was wearing. Harsh right? So I started my hunt for shoes. Finally, Ayka texted me that she was wearing flipflops so I just wore my blue flipflops. That outfit crisis cost us 45 minutes. Instead of arriving at 5 am like I said the day before I arrived at 5:45. The wait for the announcing of the bus numbers was excruciating. Our excitement cannot be contained. Finally, it was announced that we will be in Bus 2 with the Dalton people. It was fine since we won't be minding them and they won't be minding us. The trip started fine. Everything was going well until we reached QC Circle. I was still excited until I saw a sight I did not want to see. Hehehe. It doesn't hurt anymore. Yes, it doesn't. It's just that I don't know. There's still this something when I see him. Anyway, after that when we were on our way to Rizal, I fell asleep. I was a bit bothered with the thought of this and that but I finally got it out of my head. The Petroglyphs Cave brought so many surprises. I was shocked. Girls are liberated nowadays but there are still some things that shouldn't be asked. There are still some things that the guys have to initiate. I don't think that particular person visits my blog so I will say that it is not right to ask a guy to hold each other's hand if you like him but he doesn't like you as more than a friend especially when other people can hear you. It simply isn't done. After that was the lunch at the Hinulugang Taktak Falls. It was another eventful stop. Nikko was not yet updated about my life so I told him about the recent happenings when Iric suddenly arrived so I also told him. He went hysterical. We weren't able to take a group pic. (Abychu, Nikko, moi) We were supposed to write the name Marj in a piece of paper and then place it beside us. I miss Marj. Anyway after that, the other stops were corny except for the American cemetery because I kind of enjoyed the peace and quiet. The journey from the eco park to the cemetery was quite eventful due to the car beside our bus. I slept during half of the journey but I woke up when we were already in Makati. I was shocked because Em was sleeping. Hehehe. Anyway Angelie saw something happening inside the car beside our bus so she called the attention of Kim. Kim shrieked so everyone went to look at it. The Mendel people were aroused by that scandal. Everyone was going whoa. We finally woke up. We arrived at school by around 5. It was not worth the wait. It did not meet my expectations. We went to SM Manila afterwards to do the usual. I got home by 9:30. I was so tired but I still called Nikko to talk about the days events. We talked for about an hour then I entered my world of dreams. I woke up at 7. It was Sunday, October 23. It was supposed to be a special day but hey, stuff happen, things change. Anyway I was wearing all black because I was kind of mourning. It will be our last day. The BDT will cease operations until the Christmas Party. We were supposed to celebrate our 2nd monthsary today but then like I said, things change. It was quite an enjoyable day considering the present situation. I just don't like it when people follow me around. I don't like it when people keep on pushing themselves into my life when it's so obvious that I'm keeping them out. Yes, I'm harsh. I do admit it. It's just I'm not comfortable with those kind of things. Remember first year? The thing with Computer? *FYI: Abychu voted for Science and Marj voted for Computer* I've got my own love problems so please don't add up to my list of present concerns because I might not be able to control myself. I can feel my old self coming back at this moment. Some things really change. I've told my stories to a few people who I know won't judge me. One said that there's still this possibility that he cares for me. I said, no. I don't think so. The word hope is not in my vocabulary anymore when it comes to that area. Anyway, I played Dance Maniax with a speed of 3. It's the fastest speed. As expected I now have a bruise on my wrist. It hurts. The play was nice. The little prince was cute. We were supposed to go back home to Pampanga this afternoon but because of me we weren't able to. So we will be going home on Tuesday. Anna Araño went crazy with quotes awhile ago. She sent me 22. I loved all of them but then there was this one that really got my attention. I also miss her. On a lighter note, it's only 23 days 'till HP. I have no energy to look at spoiler pictures. I don't know why. Maybe it's because gOf is just around the corner or maybe Abychu's attitude toward spoilers have rubbed off on me. Who knows? There are just some things in life that are not worth the wait. I hope gOf won't be one of those. Hopefully, the picture I will attach will get attached. I will be attaching a picture of Robert Pattinson a.k.a Cedric Diggory. He's cute. Rupert is also kinda cute in this movie but of course nobody can rival Dan.
P.S. I might not post for a week or so since I'm going home. We don't have internet access there. P.S.S. Thanks to Abychu and Nikko for being a part of my life. I'm lucky I met two wonderful people like you. P.S.S.S. Marj, I've got some breaking news. I hope I'll be able to catch you soon. I really (x1000) miss you...Love you...
you know you love me
xoxo
8:04:00 PM
Y 10.15.2005
Past, Present and Future...
Hey. I have been trying to post here for two days but everytime I start typing some outside forces meddle and so I get distracted and lose my interest in blogging. Now, This post has my full, undivided attention. Let's start with the present. I have just arrived home from the play we watched. I did not enjoy it that much but some scenes made me laugh and one guy in the play is a certified cutie. He also dances so well. I think guys who dance well but does not dance like girls are cute. They have this certain appeal that attracts me. Anyway, the mood of my last post was happy. The mood of this post now? Sad. Before we go to the dramatic events I would just like to say that I have survived the Happy Hopper Challenge. Yes, I won. I did not treat them to lunch. Yehey! This morning was a crazy event. The BDT (Basa Dance Troupe) went out to play Dance Maniax and I was able to do the songs I used to fail. There were 14 of us and I enjoyed my time with them. Back to the blues. If you really love your friends you wouldn't want to see them get hurt, right? Last Thursday, one of my friends did not really get hurt but we can see that he can't really handle the situation that he's in. He's having a hard time dealing with stuff. He can't even talk to us and look at us in the eye. That was what bothered me. It was the first time that happened. I got mad at the situation. I hate seeing my friends like that so I suddenly became emotional. Lately, the only reason why I am happy is because of my friends. Now that they are also sad my depression, sadness and despair were doubled. I guess that's why I became emotional. I don't wan them to feel the pain that I am feeling. I was happy that last night we were able to talk. He was able to open up to us and I found out we were thinking the same things. I want to say that I love my friends and I love them so much that I would fight for them and I would not let anyone take them from me. *even in dreams* Yeah, selfish of me right? Great minds really think alike. Last night I was amazed because Abychu and I seem to have one brain. Hehe. We think of the same things at the same time. The past. Everyone wants to go back to a certain place and time in their past. If I was given the chance, I will go back to our freshman year. A few days ago, someone asked me "How could it *freshman year* be your favorite when you always fight?" I did not think of an answer. I automatically said " We do not fight because we hate each other. We fight because we love each other." Yes. I suddenly realized how true my words were. The Badillonians really love each other. I love the Badillonians. They are still No.1. Nobody can ever replace them. Even if I really like the Mendel pipz and I'm starting to love 'em. None can still replace the Badillonians. Whatever happens I will never forget them and especially, the editorz. Without them I wouldn't be me. Speaking of my first year in school. Nikko also mentioned that he already misses the "old" me. Who is the old me? Well, she's the girl who is not scared of anyone. She's the girl who doesn't care what other people think of her, who is strong, cool, collected and most especially strict. She's an authoritarian, a dictator and an all out pain. She gets mad easily and she always fight for what she says no matter what even if sometimes she's the one who's on the wrong. She doesn't get hurt easily because she doesn't delve too much on her feelings, her emotions. She's a girl who has her mind over her heart. I even miss the old me. Now, that girl doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, maybe she's somewhere inside of me, struggling to get out but a thing called love is trying to prevent her from escaping. I've changed...a lot. I admit it. Still strict but I've become democratic. Still fight for what I think is right but not like before. I guess those were the only things that stayed. I've become a heart over mind kind of person. I don't get angry that easily anymore. I can't say I'm strong. I don't know. When it was the four of us, Marj, Abychu, Nikko and I, Abychu was the emotional one. Nikko was the one who's always ready to fight. I was the strong one who doesn't care what other people say and Marj just doesn't feel but is ready to bite anyone's head off. We used to say that Abychu is the one who balances our group because the three of us were the tough ones. Now, I've suddenly become a softie pretending to be tough. Now, the question is? What does the future bring? I hope the future will be better than the present. I plan to go back to the old me but retain the positive changes. The future is still a blur. I don't know what may or may not happen. I have no predictions, premonitions or prophecies. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Just because you are at pain doesn't mean you're the victim. Just because you are the victim doesn't mean you are at fault. This quote by Abychu really fits the situation. Anyway, on a happier note, Hp gOf is only 31 days away. I am so excited. There are many new pictures but for the first time, I don't want to look at them. No, abychu, I'm not tired of seeing spoilers. I'm just tired of opening windows just to see thos pictures when in 31 days you would be able to see them on screen. The thing is, Mike Newell is biased. He's a shipper and he ships Harry/Herm. Even if I'm not a H/Hr shipper, I found this cute pic of the two. I liked it because it shows Harry as if he's ready to fight for Hermione. A friedn who's willing to fight for a friend. * I can't seem to place the pic so I'll just pst it some other time...sorry*
you know you love me
xoxo
9:13:00 PM
Y 10.11.2005
With the Blink of An Eye
"The only permanent thing in this world is change." This is a saying I learned from my Science teacher when I was still a 6th grader at St. Scholastica's Academy. Come to think of it, the saying is right. It makes sense. As a teen, they say that we tend to have mood swings. Once again, I agree. I have been experiencing mood swings since I entered the world of teenhood but lately, the time it takes for my mood to change seems to take just a blink of an eye. One minute I'm happy, after a few seconds I'm sad and after a few more seconds I'm angry then happy again. I don't know why the sudden rapid change of moods. This morning started the same as always. We did something quite unexpected in Physics. We lied to Ms. Hedia and told her we did not have an assignment when in fact we did. It was a problem that had to be solved but I guess none of us knew how. When we discovered that the great GaliLEOdegario doesn't have an assignment we all panicked. There was no one to turn to. So we just said there was no assignment in the first place and she actually believed us. I just hope she doesn't read this post. T.L.E. brought some surprises. I enjoyed smocking. F.Y.I. Smocking is a type of embroidery it has nothing to do with two people kissing. This message is for the cave man and Niño for reacting when we said we were reporting about smocking. Anyway, we thought it was so hard to do the stitches but then we were wrong. It was fairly easy and the designs we create were so amusing to see. Trigo was so and so. Filipino was group work and well we received an 8, no questions asked. Chem was experiment time. AdBio was sleeping time again. Hehehe. No. I did not sleep but then I was once again in the brink of diving into my world of fantasy. We will have a test tomorrow so I should study for that. Lunch time was delayed because I asked Nikko to tell me some stories first. *Flashback* I'm so happy for him and for her. P.S. They are two different people who are not related to each other whatsoever. I think it's the first time that I felt so happy for other people even if I'm not happy for myself. Bit complicated, huh?*End of Flashback* I was supposed to write that in my post for yesterday but due to the lack of time since my internet card is only for an hour I wasn't able to finish my post. Back to today, Math was fine and thank God there was no Computer Science. MAPEH was also fine and so was English. I was chosen as one of the bests in my group so I will be reciting tomorrow for the story telling. The dismissal time was full of drama. I was waiting for Nikko since I told him I won't leave the school until he tells me all the stories that he has already told Abychu. Abychu then told me that there was a complication because of certain things. I got nervous not for myself but for Abychu. I just hope things will work out fine. Then when we were about to go home I suddenly found out that my cell phone was not with me. I panicked then suddenly I rememberd it was with Mel. I tried calling my number but it was unattended. I started getting nervous and almost cried but luckily it really was with him and it is in safe hands. *sigh of relief* Normal day I would say. Except for the fact that I made someone cry, accidentally though. Even if he doesn't want to admit it we were witnesses of the tears that fell down his cheeks. I wanted to write this yesterday but due to some unforeseen forces I wasn't able to do so. A conversation with a friend might become an eye-opener without you noticing it. I wasn't really meaning to tell him about why I was depressed and all last sunday night but I guess it won't hurt if I do so. I wasn't expecting real advice to come from him but there were things that he said that made me see things clearly. There was a certain sentence that he said which made me see things in a new light. I found myself being my normal self again. I haven't felt depressed since that conversation so I thank him. I'm still confused though but I can feel it. I can feel myself being reborn from the ashes of yesterday. Haha...Just like Fawkes. Anywhoo life still goes on. Life is still life. I can't still survive Happy Hopper wild x2 speed. But some things in life are just like the games we play. There will come a time when we can't seem to survive but then we will be able to accomplish things and in time achieve our goals. My goal at the moment is to survive Happy Hopper. In time I will be able to do it. Just like the problems I am facing now, in time I will be able to overcome them. I just simply need to wait. Yeah, something that is hard to do but sometimes it's the only answer available.
P.S. Dan is so! He really is the guy of my dreams. Nobody can ever replace him.
you know you love me
xoxo
8:31:00 PM
Y 10.08.2005
Deviation from the Norm...
I always write here in English. It's just to make stuff a bit glam when all that is happening in my life is crap. Anyway, I found this page in my Math notebook with all my doodles. Stuff I wrote one Math class when I wasn't paying attention. I just want to write it here since not that much happened today.
Klyonne Whannica Mari V. Dela Cruz. iii - Mendel. 090605. dUeRrE. angbuhaiko.blogspot.com. harry potter. slam dunk. kaede rukawa. daniel radcliffe. i luv him.?? pres. treasurer. badillo. urey. mendel. anime. books. movies. gimmicks. lakwa. gala. dance mania. drum mania. my lyf. my rulz. november 30 1990. thursday. eleven. onse. purple. blue. black. long hair. wavy. teen. november. july 23. oct. 23 . music. dancing. acting. READING. writing. 5'3"?. 40 kg. 82 lbs.? P.S. a qt pic i found saved in our pc.
you know you love me
xoxo
2:32:00 PM
Y 10.07.2005
A train with no end.
Owkei. It has been another great week. Hahaha. I amuse myself sometimes. I have the guts to say that it has been a great week when it was one of the most horrible weeks in my entire life. Well, that's exageration of course but it's a pretty horrible week. I do amuse myself because I can't believe that I can still write about a specific topic when in fact my insides are all jumbled. My feelings and my emotions are like crabs trying to pull each other for me to feel them. I am happy. Not happy happy but happy in the mere sense of the word. I am happy because circumstances brought us to watch the Brothers Grimm which is actually a fantastic movie. It's a funny and interesting story. Try to mix all of the Grimm brothers stories and fairy tales and viola, The Brothers Grimm. I'm also relieved because the field demonstration is finally over. Although I enjoy practicing because we get to be excused from our classes I'm actually relieved because it's one less thorn in my heart. I'm not ready to go back to the monotonous schedule. I'm not ready to face all the responsibilities and duties that I have pending. I don't want to go back yet to the boring routine that we have everyday. I look forward to weekends that's why sometimes the weekdays all seem to be a blur. I'm starting to get off track. Anyway let's recap what happened today. I woke up, nightmare still in mind. Everything was a bit foggy because last night we didn't have electricity so there was nothing for me to do but sleep and so I wasn't able to do anything. I woke up still unaware of what to wear. After the long moments spent on trying to figure out what to wear I finally received a text from my classmates saying that we should wear our uniform. Upon arriving in school I immediately dressed up. We have a yellow juniors '05 - '06 shirt and p.e. jogging pants. My head dress was not ready yet so I was already panicking. Luckily I found Mel who was oh so willing to sew my head dress just for the low low price of P50.00. Hahaha. Aia was once again the official hair dresser of the Munchkin population. She kindly arranged my hair then it was time for the Holy Mass. Kim and I sat together. I was so proud of Vanir when she sang. It was the first time that the other mascians were blessed with the opportunity to hear her golden voice. The mass just wheezed by I wasn't even aware of the time. I was just in a bad mood because of the outfit stealer. Don't Ask. I might just get into a fit of rage. They then asked us to dress up for the field demo. I placed my head dress and other stuff. Take note, we looked like silly people who are trying to sweep the ceiling with the "walis tingting" that were attached to our heads. Kim and I went down and we shared a meal. We were having a date. Hahaha. I said Kim with a K. Some people are deaf. Oh yeah, It was Mrs. Hizon, with an H. The program was quite amusing. The Coper pipz were all out. Presenting Moulin Rouge needs all the confidence and all the thickness your face can muster. The coper pipz possess that confidence but sometimes doing it all out is not that good to see. The Phantom of the Opera was nothing. It was starting to get boring. The presentation of IV-Einstein was so enjoyable. I dunno. I guess it's just exciting to watch them present something light yet fun. It started to rain. I thought the field demonstrations were doomed but I thought wrong. We were able to present though I doubt that we gave a 110 % to the performance. It was more like 70%. After that I dressed up. It was a fashion crisis because I was trying to figure out which belt to use. The solution to the fashion crisis turned out to be me not wearing a belt at all. Hehe. The bands exhibitions started after Aia re-arranged my hair of course. We were cheering for A.C. for the first band. The second band was Em's band. Margaux and I drained our voices by shouting "Go Em!" or "Go, Manuel!" or simply Manuel and Em. We were like groupies but actually he paid us to do so. Hehe Just Kidding. Janine was also wonderful. Her voice really brough out the songs. Mikhail was even raised by the other pipz from the back. After that several bands followed. After one of the bands. I saw a sight that I did not want to see. That was when all the enjoyment and the energy I was feeling started to fade away. The tears won. They wanted to come out of my eyes. I couldn't help it but then I can't find anyone to turn to. When you're down you just go to the person who gives you comfort. But when the people who you usually turn to are either the ones who you're crying about or are out of the country it's really hard. I found a crying shoulder on a friend. We're not really that close or anything but I also had some things to tell him so I went to him. He also hates her so it was fine to talk to him. I guess I was really desperate. Abychu and I went to Robinson's Place Manila, ate at Popeye's and went to Power Books. As Ronibats said, the placing of a Power Books branch at Robinson's Place Manila is not good. It only makes people water at the sight of the books or have an instant shopping spree when they don't really want to buy anything. We experienced this awhile ago. I was so tempted to buy the twoMadFinn books we saw. The movie we wanted to watch was not yet showing at the cinemas in Robinsons so we proceeded to SM Manila to watch. Approaching the cinemas at SM we saw that it will be shown on Oct. 19. So we chose Brothers Grimm instead. I already mentioned this movie above and there's no point mentioning it again. There was a Harry Potter trailer so it was really worth it. We then proceeded to the Dance Maniax and finally went home. I was with Niño because he was the only one who was going to the LRT. He got off at the UN station so it was only me, all alone who went through the boring LRT ride to Gil Puyat. I hate it when I'm all alone with nothing to do because it's the time that all the depressing things come to mind. That was when the idea of a train leading nowhere popped into my mind. I guess whatever I'm feeling can't be taken into account when in fact I myself know that my actions are only like a train leading nowhere because there wouldn't be any reaction. I actually realized thatI have a choice. I can choose to be depressed about stuff that I cannot control or I can choose to numb all the pain and hide under a mask of happiness or I can do both. You can't really understand how I feel unless you have experienced what I'm going through or you have some inkling on what I'm actually feeling. It's so hard to look at happy people when you're not happy. There is a tendency to make them feel bad to soothe yourself but there is a greater tendency to do something stupid thinking it will make you happy when in fact it wont. It is only 39 days before Harry Potter, 12 days before mid year, 15 days before field trip and 17 days before the semestral break. Time seems to run so fast. P.S. when times are tough you gotta be tougher.
you know you love me
xoxo
8:01:00 PM
Y 10.03.2005
Drama, Deception and a Day full of Emotions...
Drama. When I hear this word the first thing that comes to my mind is crying. Why crying? I myself have no idea. It's just natural for a person to think of tears and sad things if the word drama is mentioned, right? This day, October 3, 2005 was a day full of drama, deception and emotions. The day did not start good. I was slumped in a bad mood. I just didn't know why. Anyway, when I reached school I was all smiles. I was oh so ready to tell my stories to Rachelle. She was excited, waiting for me. We were asked to go to our home room for Physics time because some freshies will be using our room for their demonstration. We went 1 storey down, crossed the bridge and entered our room. We were excited to perform our experiment. It has something to do with placing eggs inside a box and making sure that when the box is dropped from the 3rd floor, none of the eggs will brake. We used all means to secure the egss. They even called the straws that we wrapped around as shock absorbers. I was happily participating in the preparation of our box when suddenly Rachelle said something that hit me like an atomic bomb. Oh well, there goes my happy day. I got excited again when the boxes were about to be dropped. After that we checked if the eggs were still intact and luckily none of our eggs was broken. After that I was holding the box, hugging it for dear life, staring into the vast nothingness I see around me although a multitude of people were there. I just can't seem to be cheerfull anymore because of that "bomb." T.L.E. brought in a new teacher whom I can't say I like but I can't say I hate. I kind of dislike her at the moment but who knows? Trigonometry brought surprises. Suddenly, our teacher said that we were going to report. I totally forgot about it and Aia and I panicked. We were not prepared, we both forgot that we were supposed to report for 3 stamps. Luckily, the great GaliLEOdegario was our classmate. He helped us and we got the 3 stamps. I was all frown during Filipino time. I just can't seem to get that thing away from my precious thoughts. Chem time was same as usual even if the room's deco is alien to our eyes. We were the only group who was not able to perform the exp. because we didn't have skim milk. Next was the sleeping session. My classmates said that it was so obvious that I was already falling asleep. I do admit that I'm in the brink of slumber during Advanced Biology but at least I understand the lesson even if I am already an inch away from diving into the world of dreams. Lunch time was not that eventful. Mam Calamiong was not around so we did not have Mathematics. The time was spent signing fans. Yep. It has become a trend again. I bought a new fan, pink again. This time not much people placed silly messages. Almost all of their messages was from their hearts. Computer Science Time was the most eventful of all. I got mad, sad, depressed, every dramatic feeling you could think of. My tears were starting to well up. It started out fine until our dear teacher started to feel she was the star of a soap opera where her students rebelled against her and didn't attend her class. It was fine because we didn't feel guilty because all of her silver words were true. At least she was speaking generally, she wasn't pinpointing anyone. Rach brought up the 'bomb' again. Aarggh... I didn't know the reason but there was this flame inside me that turned into a great big bonfire. Then our beloved teacher said "Pano naman kasi, yung president ng klase, mas gusto pang magpractice kaysa tawagin ung mga kaklase para umatend ng klase." Me, me, me. It was all my fault again. The bonfire became a raging fire which burned, seeping through my veins. I got a paper and wrote scribbles and doodles to release my anger. It kind of worked for awhile but the flame wasn't getting any smaller. I let out a sigh of relief when CS ended. Entreud MAPEH time. We just made stuff for our head dress. The topic was brought up again. These three people were asked a question. Their answers mad that fire grow even bigger. I was already throwing things. Only Rachelle seem to get what really ticks me off. Until I started opening up. I told them why. We exchanged stories but the story teller was mostly me. Time flies so fast. It was already english time. They asked me to tell them what I know about their Ma and Pa. After that I don't know. Kim just caught my guard off. I spilled the beans. I wasn't able to control myself. Without knowing it, tears were trickling down my face. English time was spent talking. She was giving me advice and so on and so forth. It just feels good to be able to remove that heavy burden. Am I really taking the steps? Or I'm pretending to but the truth is I'm still standing where I was a few months ago? I don't know. I can't seem to figure out anything. My mind is only a tick tock away from exploding and so is my heart. I have this fear. I think I already mentioned it here but this fear is what keeps me sane I guess. It's the fear that makes me strong. We're such good actors. Though sometimes other observant people like Maritoni and Vanir and even Mike can see right through us. The eye is the window of our soul. I don't know how people read what I feel through my eyes. I just hope and pray that things will get better. I just hope and pray that other people will understand. I just hope and pray that this will be the last time I shed tears. I just hope and pray, it doesn't mean it is going to happen. Au revoir! P.S. You can never tell if what other people say is true because they might just be hiding behind masks, you'll never know. For the first time, Harry Potter can't seem to pick out the thorns that are plunged into my heart.
you know you love me
xoxo
7:12:00 PM
Y 10.02.2005
How Much Do You Love...
You hate not to love but you hate to fall in love.
You can't help but sigh when you see two people
kiss in the park and all. You don't like to go
over board and believe in a small steady
relationship at first so that it can grow. You
also like to think that you can have that kiss
that puts you into a portal and you can't get
back until he/she stops.
How much do you love?
brought to you by
you know you love me
xoxo
11:48:00 AM
Y 10.01.2005
Nothing Seems to Stay...
I can't write. I've been typing different things here since I arrived home. I can't seem to choose a topic to write about here, now. To make things easier let me first tell you about my escapades yesterday and today. Yesterday, our dismissal time was 1 PM because of the fumigation. We were suppose to have a meeting about the Science Trial. Since I'm one of the treasurers of the Knights of Science (KOS), I have to attend. The said meeting was supposed to be from 1 - 5 but my friends and I were supposed to go out and watch a movie. We have planned this gimmick for a month now. Since we can't seem to find a specific date for us to go out. So what I did is I didn't attend the meeting. So irresponsible of me, right? Then I found out that our dear vice presidents are not attending, also our two business managers. I didn't feel that bad anymore. Lol. It was only Nikko and I who went to SM Manila since Abychu had to meet her tutor. We ate at KFC. It was my first time to eat at that branch of KFC and I can say that it has a great view. Though you can only see the buildings and the LRT outside, you can still see the sky and the horizon unlike other branches where there are only four walls around you. After eating, we went to the arcade to play Dance Maniax while waiting for Abychu. Surprisingly, my friends form Mendel, my usual Dance Mania chums were also there. Well, Nikko and I played for awhile even if Abychu already arrived. By 3, we went to the movie houses and watche The Perfect Man. It was only the three of us but I still really enjoyed. I seemed a bit incomplete at first since I guess I was still grasping the fact that now, when we go out there will only be three of us. Marjorie can't come anymore. Anyway, we still enjoyed the movie. I got teary eyed during the mother-daughter parts mainly because I felt guilty. I remembered my mom and all the stuff I did that are actually against her teachings and orders. Well, after that, Nikko was still hyper and he still wanted to go and play Dance Maniax. When we arrived, I thought that Vanir and Co. were already gone since I didn't see them in the Dance Maniax area. I was surprised to find them playing para para paradise. We dare not go and play that game because we thought it was complicated but it turned out to be like Dance maniax and Dance Revo combined. Anyway, we went home and kind of slept early because of exhaustion. Enter Saturday, October 1. I was suppose to wake up at 7 but everytime the alarm went of I set it 30 minutes later. So I ended up waking up at 8 and started to prepare for the day ahead. I arrived at school by 9 am. Practice started. Everything was going smoothly until the formation part of the dance. The war broke out. Of course, it was a silent war. 4 or 3 against one. The one who think that they're a super power. We fought and nobody won. Good thing that only 5 sections were participating in our dance and not all because it would've been chaos. It would have been a full-force war. Anyway, practice ended and we changed our outfits to go to SM Manila. There were 11 of us. We went to eat at KFC. It was like a big celebration. After that we went to Kameraworld to get our pictures taken. Let's just say the pictures turned out fine but the people in it didn't. Hahaha. Lol. Luckily, I don't have scans. Lol. After that was game time. We danced, we sang, we conquered. I got a higher combo. 806. Can you believe it? I can't believe it too. And Afronova Mild was once again, PERFECT! But I can't seem to get the hang of Baila! Baila! wild. pH and Vanir have mastered that song. Anyway after that we set off and went home. I'm so happy today. I don't know maybe I guess it's because I've become calmer and I'm starting to handle the situation. Though there are still times that I don't seem to know what I'm doing and why I'm doing things that I'm doing. I'm starting to grasp the idea that maybe it wasn't really meant to be, that things are meant to be like this. That some people are really meant to go into separate ways but still meet sometimes. I still care though I don't want to. I still think of stuff I'm not supposed to think about. At least I'm not taking a mean girl approach. Anyway, I'm starting to say things that are rubbish so I'll stop. I just want to say that nothing in this world will stay. Like they say, the only permanent thing in this world is change. Nothing will ever stay, no feeling, no person, no material thing, nothing. Everything and everyone will move on. Some may move on fast, some may move on slow. I know this person who can't seem to move on but now is taking his steps away from the big X. He already woke up from this long sleep of one-sided love. To end my post I would like to say that gOf is only 45 days away. There is a bunch of pictures that you could feast your eyes on. One was actually entitled "Lyk omg it's harry in the bath." I know Abychu will consider this info as spoiler but you will definitely say those words when you see the pic. Anyway, I went to Marj's blog and it is under repair. I have no idea how she was able to do what her blog does but she redirected it to my blog. I was awestruck by what she did to her blog. I never knew she's so good at html. There really are things about your friends, even your best friend that you may not know yet. Anyway. I'll post the said pic of Daniel, I mean, Harry. 'Till next time! Tata. P.S. Auditions for Luna have started. I'm quite sure this will be another racket.
you know you love me
xoxo
5:57:00 PM
|
